Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
