I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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