That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
