I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
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