No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
