you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
