scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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