where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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