if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
