Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
