On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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