You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
