the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
