how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
never play flip cup with pint glasses
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
