dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
