A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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