You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
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