Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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