No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize