im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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