I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Someone shattered a urinal.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
