who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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