with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
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