I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
