Walk of Shame. In a state park.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I got inside last night via doggy door
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
