The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
