why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
