Come see our sink grown plant.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
