do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
