I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Randomize
