Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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