If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
