You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
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