Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize