I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
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