Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Randomize
