Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Randomize
