I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Randomize
