my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize