Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
