Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
