in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
even my farts smell like vagina
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
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Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
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