**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
