The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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