Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
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