he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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