As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
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