forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
We need a shit load of segways right now
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
