I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
