So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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