He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
