I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize