Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
