Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
