All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Randomize
