Kiss
Puke
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
