It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
