operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
