I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Randomize
