Porn is love you can see.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
