dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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